The Little Red Riding Hood Tale
by Purfessorkitty
Summary: Little Red Riding Hood had gone on a visit to his sister's house. Though, he meets a little friend in the woods, who's a little less than friendly. Rated T for slight cursing, violence. Hetalia crossover of Little Red Riding Hood.


**The Little Red Riding Hood Tale**

**A/N: Hello, fancy people! **

**I'm back with another terrible story idea! Yey! **

**After watching Family Guy, the Grimm's Fairy Tale episode, this horror came to mind. oAo**

**I decided to write a lovely remake of Little Red Riding Hood with Hetalia characters, yey... **

**WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BY MY AWFUL BRAIN! RUN!**

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a- no, wait. Never mind, we're not doing that old cliche thing...

There was once a house on the edge of town. There in that house, lived a boy and his sister.

"Red, would you deliver this to your elder sister?" Asked Red's younger sister as she held up a picnic basket.

"Why can't you deliver it?" Red asked. His sister glared at him, an aura radiating from her. "Take this to your sister. Or I'll hunt you down and ask you to marry me." She ordered.

"OK! OK, Sister! I will!" He spoke nervously, taking the basket.

So Red put on his red hooded coat, pulling the hood over his beige hair. He held the basket in his hand, walking out into the forest.

"Be back soon! Stay on the trail!" His sister called. Red only rolled his eyes. His sister was from the Devil, he swore it.

He began to skip through the forest, like a schoolgirl would. "La-la-la, being myself. La-lala. No one can call me a homo~" He heard a sudden rustling in the bushes. He looked up, seeing two light blue dots looking back. "Who's there? Natalia, is that you?" He shuddered, having a complete change in his gleeful attitude.

The rustles stopped, and the dots disappeared. Red shrugged, continuing to walk.

The forest was so dense. Why couldn't they've just drove to their sister's house?

Oh, right.

They didn't have a car.

Because this was probably a hundred something years ago. So cars didn't exist.

Goddammit.

He walked, looking at the wildlife. Trees, flowers, and such. He stopped at a field of flowers. "Maybe I could get her some flowers, too." He thought aloud.

He walked to the field, picking two small sunflowers. He felt the oddest feeling. Was someone watching him?

He looked around.

He didn't see anything. Just a bunch of grass and flowers

He turned back, walking away with the flowers. He headed back to the forest.

Oh shit, where was the trail?

FUCK!

He forgot! Now where does he go?!

He looked frantically. All there were were trees.

Just... trees.

He walked through the forest, avoiding those God awful trees.

...

He sighed. He'd been walking for God knows how long.

He leaned against a tree, fixing his coat.

**"RAWR!" **

He jumped in surprise, falling to the ground.

He looked up, seeing what had startled him.

It was a wolf!

Although, for some reason in this story he was a humanoid thing, so, like, he was just some blond guy with brown wolf ears and a tail wearing light green overalls. The wolf held his basket, since he had dropped it when he fell.

Red noticed he was wearing a necklace. It was a black cross, although it wasn't a normal cross. It had parallel sides.

"Why, hello there!" He smiled. Wolves were more bearable to be around than his sisters.

The wolf raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute. I just break out of nowhere scaring the hell out of you, and when I'm about to tear you limb from limb you just say 'hello'?"

Red nodded. "What else would I do? Scream for mercy? That's stupid!"

The two stood in silence. "Here, have your basket." The wolf handed Red his picnic basket. "Ah, thank you." Red smiled, taking his small picnic basket.

"So, do you know where the trail is?" Asked Red.

"Hm? Trail? Oh, ja, I do. Follow me."

They walked through the plain of trees.

"So you're the Big Bad Wolf, da?" Red asked the wolf.

"Yes. Why?"

"Does that mean you're going to kill me?"

"..."

"Does it?"

"...

Maybe not."

"OK! That's fine with me!"

Red smiled, swaying his basket as he walked. The wolf just watched him in confusion.

"Do you need medical help or something?" He asked.

"Because I think you have mental problems."

"No I don't!" Red stopped abruptly.

"You're the one that'll remind people of a guy named Jacob!"

"You little son of a transvestite!" The wolf growled.

Red laughed hysterically, before regaining a straight expression and skipping ahead.

The sun seemed to set slowly.

"So, why do you wear overalls with no shirt?"

"I don't know, I live in the goddamn forest, what do you think? Why are _you_ wearing a coat that looks like a dress?"

"My family has problems."

"...Oh."

"Why are you in the forest, anyway?" Asked the wolf.

"I'm going to visit my sister."

"Sister?"

"Da~!"

Sister. So, he had a sister?

The wolf had a devious plan. When he had the chance, he would go find his sister's house by himself. After all, he was feeling rather hungry.

Red yawned, stretching.

"Jeez, what time is it?" He asked as he gazed up at the yellow colored sky.

"It's dawn." The wolf inquired. He felt something fall against his back.

"Huh?"

Red had fell asleep.

Not for long, though.

He picked him up, carrying the boy on his back.

"Holy shit, he's heavy as hell." He spoke to himself, nearly falling back. He held Red's legs up, preventing him from slipping off his back. Red rested his chin on the wolf's shoulder. The wolf scowled, moving his head away a bit. He continued his walking.

He stopped at a tree stump. He took Red off of his back and rested him against it. Red held his picnic basket close hugging it to his chest.

The wolf noticed two sunflowers in the basket. Curiously, he took one.

He'd never been a fan of flowers. But this kind of flower looked intriguing. It looked like the sun. He placed it into the pocket of his overalls, beginning to walk to Red's sister's house.

...

The woman smiled as she continued to knit the scarf with purple cloth. She had been making it for her dear brother. Even though she'd already knitted him over twenty scarves, maybe he'd want another.

She heard a knock at the door. Getting up, she pressed her ear against the door. She wouldn't open it, because she wanted to know who it was before opening the door.

"Who's there?" She asked.

"It's me. Your brother, Red."

Truly, of course we all know it wasn't really Red on the other side of the door. It was the wolf, imitating his voice.

"Is it really you, Dear?"

The wolf shook his head. Who the hell calls their brother 'Dear'?

"Ja- I mean. Da, it's me~"

The door opened, revealing Red's sister.

Holy hell, her breasts were huge...

She gasped, holding her hands to the side of her face in horror.

"Oh my! A wolf!" She screamed.

The wolf grinned, revealing his sharp fangs.

He lunged forward, letting out a growl as he did.

...

Red's violet eyes slowly fluttered opened.

He looked around. The wolf was gone. Had he fallen asleep?

He stood up, rubbing his eyes. Taking his basket and the single sunflower, he walked to the house.

He reached the door, knocking on it softly. "Sister?" He asked.

The wolf looked down. He'd planned to trick Red by wearing his sister's clothes. To hell with it, he didn't need to do it anyway.

Red curiously opened the door.

"Yekaterina?"

It was dark in the small cabin. That's unusual, his sister always had light in her home.

He stepped in cautiously.

"Hello?"

The door slammed shut behind him, making him flinch in surprise.

"Eh?!" He whirled around. The wolf was there.

"How did you get here? Where's my sister?" Red asked.

The wolf only chuckled. "She's dead. I ate her." He quoted blankly.

"Wait, you _ate _her? How fat are you?"

"I'm not fat. I haven't even eaten in three weeks."

"Oh."

The wolf advanced towards him, revealing his claws and fangs. Red only trembled in terror from the wolf's looming shadow, unable to do anything... until...

"WHO CALLED THE FUCKING POTATO-BASTARD POLICE?!" Cried the woodsman as he kicked down the door.

The two whirled around, looking at the Italian man with surprise.

He revved up a chainsaw, taking a step towards them.

"What the hell?!" The two of them cried in unison. Only, instead of saying _hell, _Red said _heck. _He wasn't very familiar with the whole swearing thing.

The woodsman grinned, walking towards the wolf. The wolf's eyes widened as he raised his chainsaw, brought it down and-

Red covered his eyes.

He heard the sounds of tearing, ripping, the chainsaw sawing, and splattering.

Once the sounds stopped, he took his hand off one of his eyes.

Crimson was all over the room.

He looked down. The wolf had been dissected brutally. Red just stared in horror. Blood was all over his coat and the walls. The woodsman had run off, flailing around and laughing like a lunatic as he ran around the forest.

What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?

* * *

"The end!" Italy smiled as he closed the book.

The nations stayed silent as they sat at the meeting table.

"I liked the book." Russia noted. "It was nice."

"I think it was pathetic." Germany spoke, holding his head in his hand.

_"That's _a kid's book?! Dude, it was more like a horror movie!" America spoke, shuddering.

"That's because you're afraid of everything, you git." England slapped the American in the back of the head.

"I have one question." Germany began.

"How did that have any relation to the problem we're having with ten hungry wolves outside?"

Outside of the meeting room, ten wolves were pacing around the building, as if waiting for them to come out.

* * *

**A/N: The loveliness... has never been so lovely before.**

**Little Red Riding Hood - Russia**

**Wolf - Germany **

**Younger sister - Belarus **

**Elder sister - Ukraine **

**Woodsman - Romano **

**Did you like how I arranged everyone? OwO Of course you did. **

**You shall review, or Romano the woodsman will break into your house and saw you into pieces. MUAHAHA! **


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